Immigration Limbo

The immigration process is confusing at best for someone who is experiencing it let alone all my very loving and supportive friends/family trying to understand as well.

Here is a timeline of what has been happening and why I am currently feeling less than optimistic about the entire process

November 24^th 2011: The original visa that I was on (the youth mobility scheme visa) that allowed me to live and work within the U.K. with no restrictions expired. In order to apply for any new visa, I had to return to Canada and apply at a British Consulate. After reviewing all of the available visa options, I decided on the unmarried partner settlement visa. I looked through the application several times and thought that I filled everything out correctly. I also believed that the only documents that they required were the ones that prove you had lived with your partner in the U.K. for two years. In hindsight I should have thought that I would have had to submit more proof but at the time I thought I was doing everything correctly. Matt and I went to Vancouver on the 24^th of November and I booked an appointment at the Consulate to submit my paperwork. It was sent off via UPS and then I just had to wait. There was a very tearful good bye on the airport when Matt flew back to England on the 8^th of December. As much as he would of liked to stay with me,it was not feasible for us both to remain in Canada.

December 19^th: I receive an e-mail from the Consulate telling me that my visa application has been denied and that I will be receiving all of my documents and an explanation of the denial in the mail. A panic attack ensued as I tried to imagine on what grounds they would have denied my visa.

December 21^st: The UPS package (that I had pre-paid for) arrived and there was a detailed description of the reasons for refusal of entry from the Entry Clearance Officer. Essentially, they felt that I had not submitted enough proof to show that Matt and I were actually in a relationship, that we earned enough money to support ourselves and not need to access public funds or that we had stable accommodation. The information and documents that they wanted, I did not know that I was meant to include. The suggested document guidelines were on a different part of the website that I had somehow overlooked. At this point I was pretty dehydrated from crying for three days straight. With the help of Matt, his family, my family, friends and 50 pictures printed out at Costco, I put together a very thorough appeal package. I could not send everything until the last day of December because of the Christmas holidays. I paid $70 to ensure that my documents arrived at the First Tier Tribunal and Asylum Chamber by the 3^rd of January. The website is not very clear and I interpreted that once you have submitted your appeal, they make a decision within 10 working days. Based on that assumption, I thought that I would have a decision in two weeks and could be back in England by the end of month. Matt offered to come to Canada to see me and spend time with my family (and have a few days skiing) and then we’d hopefully be bale to fly back together.

January 8^th: I went back on the Tribunal website to try and see if there was any way to find out more information. From the FAQ section I learned that the 10-day time period is only to decide if you are eligible for an appeal and not make an actual decision on your appeal. The settlement appeal process can then take 27 weeks! Severe dehydration ensued.

January 9^th: I spent the majority of the day curled in the fetal position on the couch. I tried to go to yoga to clear my head and almost crashed the car backing out of the drive-way. I then determined that perhaps I should not be on the road and returned home to change into a full sweatsuit. I called the Home Office in England and got a recording, I then called the British High Commission in Ottawa to be told that she couldn’t really help me but directed me to a website. While that was not the most helpful response, the website search did yield one good result. I learned that I am able to re-apply in the same category without withdrawing my appeal. Of course, this is an expensive option because it means paying the fees for the same visa again, taking the bus to Edmonton (the nearest consulate office) plus the fees for hiring the immigration consultant company so I have some help this time.

I’m now a woman on a mission (an minimal sleep) as I try to get all the documents ready again, fill out the application and upload everything to the immigration company’s website so they can check everything over.

I’m so grateful for all the love and support from my family, friends and for my dad’s home office complete with scanner and color printer! But if one more person asks me Why don’t you just get married now? My head might explode.

What's Next?

My last blog post (albeit that post was some time ago) was all about my visa concerns and my future immigration related plans. In light of my recent engagement, there have been some developments.

First, I suppose this counts as an official announcement of my being engaged. Although June 16^th was not that recent anymore but that was the night that we got engaged. It was also that day that two very good friends got married. Despite the engagement, we have not take not taken to calling each other fiancée, I much prefer ‘my betrothed’. Only joking, I’m not a fan of any of those labels.

I will admit that getting engaged threw me down the crazy well and among the joy, happiness and excitement were doubt, fear and anxiety. How can I –miss anti-wedding, have a wedding? How will I plan said wedding in Canada when I live in England? What about my Jewish tradition when Matt is not Jewish and not religious? How can I can I do this and compromise my beliefs or have Matt and I not kill each other in the process?

My dear friend (and now member of my bridal brigade) sent many encouraging e-mails in the first week. I’ve also had countless conversations with my best friend Christine, sisters, mom and dad. They were all very supportive and, more importantly, realistic. Most the spontaneous weeping of those first few weeks has subsided (for now) and a sense of calm and efficiency took over. While I have researching fun wedding ideas using pinterst (my new online obsession) I have also been exploring what are, to me, the more important matter of immigration and a successful marriage.

My practical side tends to be very strong. There were a few days where I seriously considered getting married at a registrar’s office (like city hall) so my visa application could get started and I wouldn’t have to leave in November. I rationalized and made a very strong case for it. The biggest challenge was admitting to myself that it wasn’t what I wanted and that saying vows in front my family and friends mattered to me. That might seem fairly obvious to most people but I’m pretty stubborn!

My very wise dad also said to me “how would you feel if you got married with no family there for a visa and then for whatever reason your application was denied? A work visa for a job is temporary but marriage is for life” He also repeatedly told me that you can’t cut sawdust.

And so the original plan stands, go back to Canada in November and apply for the unmarried partner visa. I try not to focus on the what-ifs like what if my visa is denied or what if it takes over 3 months for them to make a decision and I lose my job? I also try not to think about Matt and I having to go back to a long distance relationship as he can’t stay with me indefinitely in Canada while I wait for my new visa.

It will be strange living apart again and living at home with either my mom in Vancouver or my dad in Calgary. The upside is that I’ll have a chance to do wedding planning that requires me to meet with people in person and other than the not being paid part, having 2 months off from work isn’t all bad. I’ve done my best to secure my job for when I return. I feel incredibly lucky to have a job and a manager who are very supportive and understanding of my immigration concerns and restrictions.

On the most recent trip back to Canada in August, a few wedding details were sorted out: date (October 7^th 2012), and venue (Brix in Yaltetown, Vancouver). It feels better having some of the major details organized but now there are about a million other details and decisions to sort through and decide on. I’m also trying to focus on all of the aspects of my life in an effort not to get completed sucked into the wedding vortex in the next year.

Why don't you just get married??

On my very first visit to the U.K., the border agent asked me ‘who I would be staying with?’ I replied ‘my boyfriend’. The follow up question was ‘oh so are you here to get married?’ and my, perhaps over-zealous, response was ‘NO’ just here for a visit. Of course at that time I had no idea that in 6 months I would be moving to England to live with said boyfriend! And ever since that first interview with U.K. customs, the questions ‘why don’t you just married?’ had followed me around. Whenever I bring up any issues related to my visa or my ability to stay in the U.K. past the initial 2 years, the solution readily supplied by well meaning people is ‘get married!’ As if getting married is the simple, quick-fix solution.

This issue has come up again after another discussion with a border agent upon my return to England after going to New York. He asked me about my plan for when my current visa expires. I explained my plan was to leave the country November 24^th when it expires and then re-enter England on a visitor visa. From that I would then apply for an unmarried partner visa. I had researched this plan and spent many hours on the home office website. Although the paperwork was going to be a bit of a headache (20 page document, cost 500 pounds, hand over my passport), it seemed do-able.

That plan has now died. The border agent informed me of why this was not such a good plan. He said there was a good chance that I would be refused entry into the U.K. in the first place as a visitor because they will know that I have been living and working here for the past 2 years and would not be a true visitor. As well, I learned that you can not transfer from a visitor visa to an unmarried partner visa. Crap.

A work visa is also, unfortunately, not an option. All visas are based on points; I had enough points to come here on the youth mobility scheme. Points are awarded based on being from Canada, an English speaking country, my education and available funds. To get a work visa, your job must be on the job shortage list. It would seem that there is no shortage of youth workers/youth justice workers in this country since neither is on the list. Even though my work would potentially be willing to sponsor me, it is irrelevant without the job shortage list element (which adds 30 points to your application).

I find it beyond annoying that despite being an educated, working woman, I do not have enough points on my own merit to earn a visa, and the right to stay in this country. While I am grateful to have a wonderful boyfriend who will essentially be my sponsor so that I can come back, it doesn’t quite seem fair. My feminist instincts are decidedly unimpressed.

So where does this leave me? As I see it, I have three options.

1. When my visa expires, leave the U.K. and move back to Canada. Matt would apply for a transfer and move with me.

2. When my visa expires, leave the U.K. and while in Canada apply for an unmarried partner visa (cost of 810 pounds), which would allow me to re-enter the country for 2 more years and continue working.

3. Get married prior to my visa expiring and then I would not have to leave in November at all.

Despite my pangs of homesickness, I don’t feel ready to move back to Canada (election results aside). I’m in a great job and they have invested in me with training and university courses. I want to stay and get more experience. I know that my life in the long run will play out in Canada, but this chapter in England is not quite finished.

The second option seems to be the most logical for me personally and for Matt and I as a couple. I wish that a work visa, or an individual visa of some kind was a realistic option but the immigration rules are strict and keep getting stricter as the current government fulfills their election promise to stem the flow of immigrants and increase jobs for British Citizens. It’s an expensive option but it does involve a lengthy holiday to Canada in November!

And so option 3 – why don’t we just get married?! Matt and I have had this discussion and it has forced us both to evaluate our true beliefs and values around marriage. Is it just a legal formality to allow me to stay in the country or is it more important? Do we want the Home Office to determine when we get married? While it wouldn’t be the only reason to get married in the first place, should it be a reason at all?

While I have had mixed feelings about marriage (more specifically weddings), this past week, I feel that I have gained some true clarity. Marriage is more than just signing a piece of paper. Marriage for a visa removes any element of romance or love.

In a way it feels like an act of desperation rather than love. If I can’t live in the U.K., if for some reason my visa application was denied, I’m not being deported to a horrible country with no freedoms. Marriage for a visa feels like a last ditch effort and I don’t really think that I’m at that point.

I love Matt and marriage is most likely in the cards for us but that is a decision to be made by us when it feels like it’s the right time and not because the UK Border Agency has given me slightly limited immigration options.

Speak the Language

Despite the fact that England is an English speaking country, I sometimes feel like it is a whole new kind of English. Even after being here for over a year, there are still so many times where I am lost in a conversation. The most commonly spoken word in my relationship with Matt is 'what?'

Here is a table of some of the words that I say now so that I can be understood.

English (UK)	English (Canadian)
Alright?	How are you?
Alright	Fine thanks
Skint	Broke
In a mood	In a bad mood
Have the hump	In a bad mood
Stroppy	Bitchy
Get your kit off	Take your clothes off
Loo roll	Toilet paper
Kitchen roll	Paper towel
Toilet, loo, bog	Bathroom, washroom
Boot	Trunk
Bonnet	Hood
See a film at the cinema	Go to the movie theatre
Washing up	Do the dishes
Hoovering	Vacuuming
Rubbish bin – or just bin	Garbage can
Pavement	Sidewalk
Zebra crossing	Pedestrian crossing
Gooseberry	Be a third wheel
Ring them	Call them
Put the kettle on	The solution to all problems in life
Bacon buttie	Breakfast bacon sandwich
Sarnie/buttie/bap	Sandwich
Football	Soccer
Up the duff	Pregnant
Flat	Apartment
Lift	Elevator
Queue	Line up
Alcopop	Cooler
Take-away	Take-out
Brilliant	Awesome
Keep your hair on	Don’t freak out
Pudding/pud	Dessert
Trainers	Runners/sneakers
Tissues	Kleenex
Tuck in	Eat up

There is also the added fun of cockney rhyming slang that many people use without even thinking about it. Example: I don't have a scooby = I don't have a clue because scooby doo rhymes with clue! others include boat race - face syrup and fig - wig There are 'shed loads' more but this is just a taster. To truly experience it you'll just have to come for a visit.

Busy Bee

Well it appears that it has been over a month since my last blog post. I have to admit though, I am still on a high about being able to drive. Each time I make it to a young person's house and then make it back home, it feels like a little victory. I knew that I was making not driving a huge obstacle in my head that I just needed to get over. Matt is also enjoying my ability to drive us both home after he's had a few beers. Which means that we've branched out to restaurants outside of our town (i.e. not just walking distance).

Since I wrote a one year review back in November, I don't think I'll go over everything again. Instead, I'll discuss my hopes and plans for 2011. I only made one resolution and that was to not buy any magazines. The main reason is that I read them in 5 minutes and then recycle them so they are not really a good use of my money. I suppose the magazine thing is part of the bigger resolution to be more financially responsible and financially conscious (paying attention to what I'm spending).

The main reason that I'm a busy bee these days is because I have two jobs and I'm taking two courses! My main job is still working at youth justice as a substance misuse worker and prevention worker. My second job is a youth worker at a youth club one night per week. The first course is through the Open University (and I'm being sponsored by youth justice to take it) - its called effective practice in youth justice. You need that qualification to be a youth justice officer (essentially a youth probation officer) which is what I would like to be doing in the near future. The second course is a youth worker qualification through the second job and I get paid to attend the workshops which are every other week. My life is full of youth justice!! I'm trying to take advantage of every opportunity available at youth justice. I'm not sure how long I'll be there due to budget cuts. I have high hopes that I will have my contract renewed at the end of February.

I've also been trying to cook more and eat out at restaurants a bit less. I have a fully stocked kitchen and have found lots of little shops that stock many of my obscure ingredients. Its not quite the same as being walking distance from Whole Foods but I'm making it work. Matt continues to be supportive of my healthy eating attempts although there are some complaints about the occasional cooking smells coming from the kitchen.

There are quite a few (too many actually) trips that I'm looking forward to this year. My very good friend Alexxa is going to be in Spain in March and thanks to the close proximity to England, I can go and meet her!! I've never been to Spain and I think its going to be so fun to get to meet up and catch up! Matt and I have booked a few days off in April because due to the amount of stat holidays (thanks for getting married Prince William and Kate Middleton and giving everyone an extra Friday off), there is an excellent opportunity for a holiday. The top contender is New York. The plan is to wait for a last minute deal to save some money and head there for a week!

Other trips that I want to take include: Florida, El Salvador (to visit my sister and her family who are there for the year), Canada in August for a wedding and my dad's 60th birthday and then Canada again in November when my visa expires. The big question now is how to make all of these holidays fit!! Once I know my position at work I will be able to sit down and make some decisions.

The other recent development is the flat is now painted. After spending too long in places with white walls I decided that the time had come for some colour. I asked (ok told) Matt that instead of exchanging Hanukkah/christmas presents, we would split the cost of painting and decorating. So now I feel more at home here. I'm having a party/open house to show off all of the hard work put in. Admittedly, Matt painted a few more walls than I did. His parents were a bit skeptical about some of the colour choices but after seeing them on the wall agreed that I had missed my calling as an interior decorator.

The days are getting longer making me very happy and I'm looking forward to Spring :)

It finally clicked

I’ve been driving the new car for about two weeks now and I would say that It’s going much better. The first few times out with Matt in the car were nerve wracking for both of us. He was sat in the passenger set squeezing his fists and trying to break on his side. His anxiety was making me feel even more nervous and his telling me that I was too close to the curb every 5 seconds didn’t help anyone!

I was still glad to have him in the car though for when I wasn’t completely sure of when to go or what to do. I soon realized that I was relying on him too much and I was going to need to conquer driving on my own once and for all.

I can’t really explain exactly what changed but one day, on my way to work, I approached the roundabout and everything just clicked. As if a picture had been out of focus and I could finally see it clearly. I don’t know why it took a year for roundabouts to make sense to me but it just did. I can now come up to the roundabout and not completely panic and forget how to drive!

Every once in awhile in the car I have a moment where I have to really stop and think about what side of the road I’m meant to be driving on. I haven’t gone the wrong way yet and I don’t think it will happen. It’s more like my rational brain fighting against 9 years worth of driving on the other side.

I’m also adjusting to use the satellite navigation system Sat Nav or Tom Tom. I’ve never used one before so it was a bit confusing at first. I’m out there driving around to young people’s houses and I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going and have to really on this electronic map to guide. I have occasionally argued with the Tom Tom when it has told me to turn around when possible but I was going the wrong direction (away from home no on the road) and it was a single lane highway. I’m used to getting lost but it’s a whole new level of disorientation here.

It’s improving every day and I’m getting used to the roads. I think Matt still worries about me out on the road. Especially when he gets frantic phone calls from me when I’m driving on the back roads and can’t figure out how to get back to a main road to get home. He has been very patient and trusting of me with the brand new car.

I still prefer to be the passenger but I have to admit it is really nice to be able to drive again.

This Time Last Year

Last Thursday was my one year anniversary since arriving in England. In some ways it seems that the time has gone by really quickly because I can so clearly remember getting off the plane last year and moving into the new flat. How can that have been a year ago already?

This is an excerpt from my journal from the day before I left:

November 23rd, 12:15 am, last sleep

"Everything feels very surreal. I know that I need to go to sleep and that when I wake up it will be the day I've been counting down to for 13 weeks! I really wish that I wasn't on the verge of a cold/sinus infection. Not ideal for traveling or for seeing Matt. I really can't believe that I get to see him in about 28 hours.

Everyone came over for supper. It was loud and chaotic and exactly my family. I didn't get really emotional. I expect that to kick in at the airport with saying goodbye to dad, shelley and christine. I know I'm very tired so I hope that I can sleep without waking up every 2-3 hours like last night"

Things I have learned in the last year:

- it's hard to hide your crazy tendencies when you live with your boyfriend. I'm used to living either at home, in a dorm room or with girls where I can walk around all the day in my pyjamas, have at home spa night with face masks, eat the occasional gross junk food that I would never admit to eating and other behaviours that in the beginning of a relationship you try to hide from the other person. We've both adjusted and have at least reached the point where burps and farts are mostly funny. Very romantic

- It doesn't matter where in the world I live, my family and my close friends will always be a huge part of my life. Thanks to facebook, skype and lots of phone calls, I speak to at least one member of my family or friend every day. I see pictures of the family events that I can't attend and it makes me feel like I am still a part of things. My family supported me in moving here and have been there every step of the last year.

- Sometimes, I kind of think I'm invincible. I'm normally very humble and don't always take credit for my accomplishments. But this time I'm taking full credit. I moved to another country to pursue my relationship with Matt and within 6 months I was working at a job in my field while there is a major recession. I never settled and always believed that I would find a job that was right for me.

- I can now drive on the other side of the road and navigate around roundabouts. It took a long time, a lot of tears and the purchase of an automatic but I can drive! Now as soon as this snow clears I'll be back on the road.

- Matt is an incredibly patient and caring person when he's not being a grumpy old man. I'm not always sure how he puts up with me but I did once phrase it as "dating me is like being on the crazy train, you're either all aboard or waiting at the station" Clearly he's all aboard! He's been an amazing partner and despite a few rough patches, I know I made the right decision in moving.

- Being friendly goes a long way in any country. I never fully appreciated the stereotype of the polite Canadian until I moved away and people told me that I said please and thank you a lot. Manners cost nothing and have made a big difference in getting along with everyone at my revolving door of workplaces the first 6 months here.

- Bringing baked goods to work also goes a long way

Parallel Lives

I've been back from Calgary for two days and despite sleeping for almost 24 hours upon my return, I still feel like I could hibernate for a week. I tried to prepare myself for feeling sad when I came back to England. I knew it would come because that's how I felt when I came back in June. This feeling of everything is not quite in sync and it takes awhile to get settled back into my life here.

Having parallel lives is the best way that I can describe the feeling of living in England while my family and many friends still live in Canada. I have felt it both times that I have gone back and I have felt it when Canadian friends and family come to England to visit.

When I went back to Calgary I saw people who I hadn't seen since I had left a year ago. I felt different and had been living this completely different life but everything and everyone was still the same. It was a strange feeling because I became completely absorbed in my week in Calgary and it was as if my other, England life has never even happened or didn't seem to exist. Then the minute I'm back at work on Monday, my Canadian life fades away and it's as though I've always lived here, I've always worked at that office.

Each life seems to carry on without the other one and when I step back into my Calgary, Vancouver or Woking life the others fade into the background. It rips me apart in many ways because I want to live my England life but with my Canadian family. When I'm here and away from them, I almost forget that I miss everyone or how nice it is to be home for kid's birthday parties and family dinners. It makes me wonder will I always feel this push/pull inside me no matter where I live?

I hope this doesn't sound too depressing. The first days back are tough and the intensely busy work schedule and jet lag don't really help.

Turkey Time

I can't believe that I've already been back for almost a week! It almost feels like I never even went. Antalya was not quite the city that I had expected. The last sun holiday that Matt and I had been on was to Santorini in Greece. The place where we stayed was a few steps to the beach and the whole boardwalk outside our hotel was shops and restaurants. I guess I expected the place in Turkey to be a bit more like that. More like a resort somehow.

The flight landed in Turkey at around 11:00 p.m. After being ripped off at customs (if you're from England you pay 10 pounds to enter the country, but if you're from Canada and live in England you pay 30 pounds!), we got our luggage and boarded the bus to the hotel. I never like arriving at night because you don't really get a sense of the place or what anything looks like. The restaurant was shut so I had a lovely dinner of peanuts and pretzels at the sports bar while Matt feasted on beer.

The hotel was extremely nice. We booked at a travel agency and so got a really good deal. I probably never would have stayed at a Sheraton hotel otherwise. The room was booked in my name so when we checked in we were greeted as Mr. and Mrs. Goldstein. This also happened when we in Paris. Despite my highest hopes, it seems unlikely that Matt will ever take my name and become Mr. Goldstein. A girl can dream.

Breakfast buffets are usually my downfall but this buffet was aimed at people who enjoy cheese and meat for breakfast which I do not. There was such a strange mix of food. Who likes lentil soup at 9:00 am?For the past 6 months I haven't been eating wheat or dairy. On this trip, due to very limited options, I was basically on a bread and cheese diet. Some days were delicious but others were frustrating. I would say the lack of Sarah friendly food was really my only complaint of the trip.

This was meant to be a purely relaxing trip. This meant not feeling guilty for not signing up to tours every day and not feeling the need to explore every single thing. I have a tough time relaxing. I excel at napping but sitting still and doing nothing are a struggle. I stayed by the pool most days but did manage to read 3 1/2 books. That is my idea of a holiday! Nothing to do but decide when to eat and what to read.

The beach turned out to be mostly rocks so the pool was the better option. I would say the funniest poolside experience involved an older, very tanned German man by the pool. It's not as if I (or Matt) was checking out his package on purpose but it was impossible NOT to look. This man was wearing very tight swim trunks and he walked around the pool with quite a swagger. This man appeared on day one of the trip which meant that the rest of the week featured large 'package' jokes ;)

Turkey is well known for having textile factories. The cab drivers always felt the need to point this out and try to take us to the textile (or sometimes leather) factories or outlet stores. The cab drivers were nice but one essentially kidnapped us and took us to the waterfalls on the outskirts of the city. First he was telling us about the waterfall and we said we would go another day and then Matt said ok to something and then we were on our way to the waterfall. It turned out really well since the driver took us on a tour around the waterfall and was our personal photographer even telling people to move so that we could get a clear shot of the waterfall in the background.

There were two cultural activities that Matt and I did engage in. The first was a Turkish bath. You wear your bathing suit and first go into a sauna and then a steam room. I passed on the steam room because I get light headed really easily. After the sauna, you are taken into another steamy room and laid out on a stone slab. A woman comes over and scrubs you up and down, front and back. This is not your typical spa scrub, I had bruises from my scrub down! After the scrub, water is dumped on you and then there is a bubble massage before a shower. After this was an oil massage and face mask. Matt and I were separated for the first half and had the massage and face mask together. It was an interesting experience!

The second was a half day trip to the ancient cities of Perge and Aspendos. I find ancient ruins to be really cool and I like imagining what life must have been like hundreds of years ago. I also wonder what people from the future will think when they see ruins from our civilizations. Ever the cynic, Matt pointed out that buildings today are put together so badly that there won't be anything left for people from the future to see!

I'm glad that I went but I don't think that I will go back to Antalya. I would still really like to go to Istanbul though. It was a great trip and nice to have time with just Matt. I'm still surprised and delighted by the fact that we can spend 24/7 together and not kill each other.

Living it Up

When I decided to move to England, people kept asking me what my long term plans were. Both for myself and for Matt and I. I told everyone that I was on the wait and see plan. It was hard to know how everything was going to work and both Matt and I tried to be realistic by sticking to the two year visa timeline.

As time has gone by, and I've almost been here for a year already, we've had quite a few more discussions about future plans. Sometimes I begrudge being an international couple because instead of having to decide what neighbourhood we might live in, we have to think about what country we might want to live in. Matt pointed out that the most rational decision would be to live a few years in each country and then decide which one worked best. I would say that my initial bias was, obviously, to live in Canada. When I told my dad about these discussions that we'd been having, he told me that we could be citizens of the world. I really like the sound of that.

As I am a planner by nature, I have now created a hypothetical ideal timeline for the next few years. Matt's sister is getting married in May of 2012 and it doesn't really make sense to make a move to another country before her wedding. Working on that basis, the move back to Canada has tentatively been penciled in for the summer of 2012. Its much nicer to move during the summer months anyways. This plan leaves plenty of time for Matt to finish his qualifications at work and to apply for a transfer and for me to put in more time with Youth Justice Services and get more work experience.

The other week I heard a comedian say that he hates when people say that travel is their 'thing'. Mostly because everyone likes to travel and so you can not claim it as your own. Your 'thing' needs to be more quirky and possibly outrageous. Travel might not be our 'thing' but it is certainly an interest that Matt and I share and are hoping to make the most of while we live in Europe. To that end, a travel wish list has been created so that cities and countries can be checked off.

The list includes (but is not limited to): Turkey (which will be checked off in a few days), Prague, Italy, Budapest, Copenhagen, Sweden or Norway to watch the Northern Lights, Stockholm, Egypt. Florida and New York are also on the list but are not European countries. I'm hoping that we can make a few weekends trips to check out some amazing cities. I want to be able to look back on my time living in England and know that I truly made the most of it.

I have also been trying to get involved in more activities locally. London has SO much to offer that it can be overwhelming. I'm working my way through most of the musicals in the West End. To date I have seen: Dirty Dancing, Grease, Lion King, We Will Rock You, Wicked, Sister Act, Avenue Q. I had already seen Hairspray, Cats and Les Miserables in Canada. When my mom comes to visit we'll be going to see Billy Elliot.

I've also been trying to find out more about comedians, concerts and festivals. That is why in the past week or so I've seen Russell Peters (comedian), attended the Vegan Festival and saw the band MGMT.

When I was at MGMT on Friday night and Matt and I were rocking out I just stopped and thought, 'my life is pretty fantastic right now and I'm genuinely happy'. This was a really big deal since I am usually so full of anxiety that I can't always enjoy what I am doing.

Since I have started working for the Youth Justice Service I can honestly say that I am exponentially happier living in England. I have a job where I am appreciated and I want to be there. I really like all the people working in my office and for the most part look forward to going to work in the morning. It helps that my commute is an 8 minute walk.

Matt and I are heading to Turkey on Tuesday. I'm so looking forward to having a full week to relax and re-connectwith each other. Every day has been so rainy here and I can't wait for 27 degree sunshine for 7 days!

My Poor Neglected Blog

so it would appear that almost a whole month has gone by without a post...Eek. Where did the last month go? I think I was in denial for most of August about summer coming to an end. So to catch you up I'm going to write a few mini blogs.

1. The Noisy Neighbours

After what seemed like forever of feeling ignored and becoming resigned to living with horrible, inconsiderate neighbours, a police intervention happened. My incessant phone calls and complaints to the environmental health officer and the community policing team finally paid off. The environmental health officer called me and took my report and then sent me a noise diary to help build my case. The noise diary would have been more helpful when I lodged the first complaint but I suppose better late than never. Almost right away I got a phone call from the police and they asked if they could come by my apartment. Their timing was perfect since the upstairs neighbours had been playing loud bass music all afternoon.

I explained my concerns to the police when they arrived and they assured me that I had done the right thing by phoning. I shouldn't have to feel like I can't even relax in my own home. I told them I was mostly worried about the baby that seemed to cry all day and night. After they left my place, they went upstairs to speak to my noisy neighbour. I could hear them knocking on the door and because the music was so loud, she didn't answer the door right away. Perfect!

About 30 minutes later, I got a call from the officers to tell me how it went. The lady upstairs continued to deny to the police that she had any parties and she said that her daughter had not been home for a month! I didn't think that they were accusing me of making a false report or anything but it was not exactly the verdict I had hoped for. They said they would file their report with social services and to let them know if anything else happened.

The police visit worked and its been very quiet up there the past month. Finally peace and quiet...Except that the downstairs neighbours have decided to fill the noise void with a screaming baby and parties of their own.

2. The One Trip I Did Not Want to Take with Matt

During the first few weeks of living together, I had a really bad migraine. I told Matt that sooner or later while we were together, he would end up taking me to the emergency room. This was based on the fact that since the age of 16 and my first migraine, I have spent WAY too much time in the hospital. At first, it was because I didn't know how to manage to my migraines at all and so they would get so bad that I would be blind in one eye and vomiting and the only choice was an I.V. in the ER. I've also ended up in the hospital for a variety of other strange accidents and illnesses. For me it's a good year if I haven't had to go to the ER.

The streak was broken a few weeks ago during a rapid onset case of the stomach flu. I was fine Wednesday night but I woke up Thursday morning feeling so nauseous. I thought I would eat some breakfast and it would pass. It did not. I threw up breakfast. But like the crazy person I am, I still went to work. I put in a few hours, fell asleep on my desk and decided it was time to go home. I got home and fell asleep for about four hours. I woke up still feeling crappy and thought a bowl of plain rice would be safe. This was a mistake. By the time Matt got home a few hours later, I was curled up in a ball and then starting throwing up chunks of blood. At this point we called his mom and she said we should go to the hospital.

I knew that it was mostly likely that the blood was from being so violently sick all day but I guess I didn't want to chance it. And so we went to the A& E (Accidents and Emergencies - the British name for the ER). I told Matt he could just drop me off since I didn't want him to have to suffer the next few hours in the hospital waiting room with me. He said I was being ridiculous and he stayed with me. After numerous pokes, prods and x-rays, my initial diagnosis was correct. They gave me an anti-nauseau injection (it hurt to sit down for the day or so) and sent us home.

I love travelling with Matt but I don't fancy any more trips to the hospital.

3. Mandy comes to town

I refer to Mandy as my girlfriend. I also refer to her as my non-sexual lesbian life partner. This confused some people since both Mandy and I were single for a long time and only hang out with each other...and then I went home with her for Christmas. The non-sexual part was dropped and people began to believe that we really were a couple. I was with Mandy when I met Matt. She occasionally bemoans the fact that because of her so many of her friends have met and hooked up. I'm hoping that she's not still annoyed about this since thanks to her intervention I have a really great boyfriend and I live in England!

So understandably, I was very excited when Mandy was coming for a visit! Being uber-organized meant that she had done loads of research about how to best spend her two weeks in the U.K. She had looked up some very cool places to visit in London that I had never been to including: spidelfields market, hampstead heath, golders green and saw Sister Act. It was so great to have her here because it felt like no time had passed. I realized how much I miss having my girlfriends in my life just to chat and go to lunch and explore markets with. Mandy was travelling with her friend Eleanor who I had heard about but hadn't met. Mandy has so many friends in so many cities and countries! I really like that since I've moved here, quite a few friends and family have made their way over and can stay with me.

On Mandy and Eleanor's last night in England, I hosted a dinner party for Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). Last year at Christmas time, so many people asked me if I was homesick and I wasn't really because Christmas is not a holiday that I celebrate with my family. Rosh Hashanah is a big holiday with my family and I decided that to help deal with being so far away from everyone, I should host a big dinner and make traditional foods. This was quite a feat as I have never made the whole dinner by myself. After two days of cooking and sending Matt to North London to pick up the special round challahs (braided bread), I hosted 7 people for a delicious dinner. I LOVED having everyone over and being able to celebrate with all of my friends. Although most of the attendants were not Jewish, it didn't matter. I liked being able to create new holiday memories living here and living with Matt (who is not Jewish but mostly open-minded).

4. Substance Misuse Prevention Worker

This is my new job title! Not very much has happened yet and I'm still doing my old role. I've been training another woman at work to take over for me but since giving her most of my work load I haven't had much to do at work. This slow time certainly makes up for the craziness of the summer. My new manager and I have only met once and then she took a leave from work because her father had passed away. I haven't been able to wish her my condolences yet because she's been out of the office. I have a meeting tomorrow with her where I should find out what the new role will entail. From what I do know, I will be working directly with young people before they become involved in the criminal justice system. I will be focusing on substance misuse, health and prevention. When I know more, I'll write about it. I'm very excited about this new opportunity and continue to be awed and amazed at my good fortune at getting a job in my field within walking distance from my house!

Ramble On

I usually like my blogs to fit into some kind of theme or event. In fact, I’ve had blogger’s block the past few days trying to decide what to write about. This blog is going to be a bit of ramble as I discuss some of the recent events and thoughts happening lately.

Update on the last blog – Flat 53 vs. Flat 58. I spoke with a woman at work who told me that the police have a neighborhood support worker so I called her. I got a call back and explained the situation and they informed me that while they would make a note of my complaint, I needed to be dealing with the environmental health office. The issue is noise pollution so that’s why it’s an environmental health issue. I got a phone call from them and they apologized for the mismanagement of my previous complaint.

What should have happened when I phoned was that a letter was supposed to go the people upstairs informing them that a complaint had been made about the noise. It would have been anonymous except that since I’ve been up there twice I’m pretty sure they will know its me. I was also supposed to receive a letter with a noise diary to log further disturbances (like the one I’m listening to right now of loud techno music!) I’m still waiting for the noise diary to arrive but at least I’m starting to build a case against them. I feel like such a vigilante about this issue but I can’t let it go. Hopefully the next update will be more positive…like they got evicted!

Work has been very busy the past few weeks. Since I am the newest member of staff and basically at the bottom of the totem pole, I’ve been volunteering for any and every piece of work that I can. There are major budget cuts happening and my goal has been to show them how valuable and versatile I am so that they will want to keep me around.

While I prefer being busier at work, it got a little bit out of control. In addition to my regular duties, I was covering for two other people who were on holidays and on sick leave. Every time the phone rang it was transferred to my desk and every time a youth justice officer had a question they came over to my desk. It has calmed down significantly since the woman on sick leave has returned. My hard work has paid off since I’ve been offered a contract on my extension until March 2011! I don’t want to say too much about it yet since I’ve only had one meeting with the head of service and haven’t been offered anything in writing yet. It’s still excellent news.

**Caution to my dad who is reading this – the next paragraphs are about birth control***I’ve been on the pill since I was about 16. Since moving to the UK I’ve had to get a new doctor and get my prescriptions transferred over. The doctor informed me that the pill I had been taking put me at an increased risk of blood clots because I also get migraines. This was news to me! You think that in the 10 years that I had been taking the pill, one of my Canadian doctors would have mentioned this possible side effect or risk. The doctor tells me that I can no longer take that pill and can take a different one, the mini-pill with only progesterone and no estrogen.

I agreed but inside I was panicking. A large part of the reason I originally took the pill was to help with my bad skin. My skin has never been great. It goes through clear phases only to be followed out by extended break out periods. I knew that going off the pill that is supposed to help with your skin was going to be a nightmare but the risk of a blood clot in my brain was also not an appealing option. Having bad skin makes me SOOO self –conscious. It makes me feel like everyone is staring at my face and my spots and thinking ‘wow, she has such bad skin’. There’s a small chance that no one is thinking that. When my skin is bad, I feel like staying home with a bag over my face. The worst part is that at home I take off my make-up and Matt sees everything! Another joy of living together, I can’t hide anything.

While the effect was not immediate, I’ve begun to notice and now have full-fledged acne again. It sucks. I have nothing positive to say about it. I have an appointment with the doctor next Monday so hopefully they’ll be able to help me out.

Matt and I have booked our holiday and we’re headed to Antalya, Turkey. We got an amazing deal and are staying at a 5 star resort. I’m really excited! People in the U.K. go to Egypt and Turkey the same way people in Canada go to Mexico. There are loads of all-inclusive deals that go there. They still seem like very exotic destinations to me. I’m looking forward to having a break and getting to be on holiday with Matt.

That’s about all for now. I feel like this wasn’t the most exciting of posts. Oh well, hope you liked reading it anyways.