Speak the Language

Despite the fact that England is an English speaking country, I sometimes feel like it is a whole new kind of English. Even after being here for over a year, there are still so many times where I am lost in a conversation. The most commonly spoken word in my relationship with Matt is 'what?'

Here is a table of some of the words that I say now so that I can be understood.

English (UK)	English (Canadian)
Alright?	How are you?
Alright	Fine thanks
Skint	Broke
In a mood	In a bad mood
Have the hump	In a bad mood
Stroppy	Bitchy
Get your kit off	Take your clothes off
Loo roll	Toilet paper
Kitchen roll	Paper towel
Toilet, loo, bog	Bathroom, washroom
Boot	Trunk
Bonnet	Hood
See a film at the cinema	Go to the movie theatre
Washing up	Do the dishes
Hoovering	Vacuuming
Rubbish bin – or just bin	Garbage can
Pavement	Sidewalk
Zebra crossing	Pedestrian crossing
Gooseberry	Be a third wheel
Ring them	Call them
Put the kettle on	The solution to all problems in life
Bacon buttie	Breakfast bacon sandwich
Sarnie/buttie/bap	Sandwich
Football	Soccer
Up the duff	Pregnant
Flat	Apartment
Lift	Elevator
Queue	Line up
Alcopop	Cooler
Take-away	Take-out
Brilliant	Awesome
Keep your hair on	Don’t freak out
Pudding/pud	Dessert
Trainers	Runners/sneakers
Tissues	Kleenex
Tuck in	Eat up

There is also the added fun of cockney rhyming slang that many people use without even thinking about it. Example: I don't have a scooby = I don't have a clue because scooby doo rhymes with clue! others include boat race - face syrup and fig - wig There are 'shed loads' more but this is just a taster. To truly experience it you'll just have to come for a visit.

Busy Bee

Well it appears that it has been over a month since my last blog post. I have to admit though, I am still on a high about being able to drive. Each time I make it to a young person's house and then make it back home, it feels like a little victory. I knew that I was making not driving a huge obstacle in my head that I just needed to get over. Matt is also enjoying my ability to drive us both home after he's had a few beers. Which means that we've branched out to restaurants outside of our town (i.e. not just walking distance).

Since I wrote a one year review back in November, I don't think I'll go over everything again. Instead, I'll discuss my hopes and plans for 2011. I only made one resolution and that was to not buy any magazines. The main reason is that I read them in 5 minutes and then recycle them so they are not really a good use of my money. I suppose the magazine thing is part of the bigger resolution to be more financially responsible and financially conscious (paying attention to what I'm spending).

The main reason that I'm a busy bee these days is because I have two jobs and I'm taking two courses! My main job is still working at youth justice as a substance misuse worker and prevention worker. My second job is a youth worker at a youth club one night per week. The first course is through the Open University (and I'm being sponsored by youth justice to take it) - its called effective practice in youth justice. You need that qualification to be a youth justice officer (essentially a youth probation officer) which is what I would like to be doing in the near future. The second course is a youth worker qualification through the second job and I get paid to attend the workshops which are every other week. My life is full of youth justice!! I'm trying to take advantage of every opportunity available at youth justice. I'm not sure how long I'll be there due to budget cuts. I have high hopes that I will have my contract renewed at the end of February.

I've also been trying to cook more and eat out at restaurants a bit less. I have a fully stocked kitchen and have found lots of little shops that stock many of my obscure ingredients. Its not quite the same as being walking distance from Whole Foods but I'm making it work. Matt continues to be supportive of my healthy eating attempts although there are some complaints about the occasional cooking smells coming from the kitchen.

There are quite a few (too many actually) trips that I'm looking forward to this year. My very good friend Alexxa is going to be in Spain in March and thanks to the close proximity to England, I can go and meet her!! I've never been to Spain and I think its going to be so fun to get to meet up and catch up! Matt and I have booked a few days off in April because due to the amount of stat holidays (thanks for getting married Prince William and Kate Middleton and giving everyone an extra Friday off), there is an excellent opportunity for a holiday. The top contender is New York. The plan is to wait for a last minute deal to save some money and head there for a week!

Other trips that I want to take include: Florida, El Salvador (to visit my sister and her family who are there for the year), Canada in August for a wedding and my dad's 60th birthday and then Canada again in November when my visa expires. The big question now is how to make all of these holidays fit!! Once I know my position at work I will be able to sit down and make some decisions.

The other recent development is the flat is now painted. After spending too long in places with white walls I decided that the time had come for some colour. I asked (ok told) Matt that instead of exchanging Hanukkah/christmas presents, we would split the cost of painting and decorating. So now I feel more at home here. I'm having a party/open house to show off all of the hard work put in. Admittedly, Matt painted a few more walls than I did. His parents were a bit skeptical about some of the colour choices but after seeing them on the wall agreed that I had missed my calling as an interior decorator.

The days are getting longer making me very happy and I'm looking forward to Spring :)

It finally clicked

I’ve been driving the new car for about two weeks now and I would say that It’s going much better. The first few times out with Matt in the car were nerve wracking for both of us. He was sat in the passenger set squeezing his fists and trying to break on his side. His anxiety was making me feel even more nervous and his telling me that I was too close to the curb every 5 seconds didn’t help anyone!

I was still glad to have him in the car though for when I wasn’t completely sure of when to go or what to do. I soon realized that I was relying on him too much and I was going to need to conquer driving on my own once and for all.

I can’t really explain exactly what changed but one day, on my way to work, I approached the roundabout and everything just clicked. As if a picture had been out of focus and I could finally see it clearly. I don’t know why it took a year for roundabouts to make sense to me but it just did. I can now come up to the roundabout and not completely panic and forget how to drive!

Every once in awhile in the car I have a moment where I have to really stop and think about what side of the road I’m meant to be driving on. I haven’t gone the wrong way yet and I don’t think it will happen. It’s more like my rational brain fighting against 9 years worth of driving on the other side.

I’m also adjusting to use the satellite navigation system Sat Nav or Tom Tom. I’ve never used one before so it was a bit confusing at first. I’m out there driving around to young people’s houses and I have no idea where I am or where I’m supposed to be going and have to really on this electronic map to guide. I have occasionally argued with the Tom Tom when it has told me to turn around when possible but I was going the wrong direction (away from home no on the road) and it was a single lane highway. I’m used to getting lost but it’s a whole new level of disorientation here.

It’s improving every day and I’m getting used to the roads. I think Matt still worries about me out on the road. Especially when he gets frantic phone calls from me when I’m driving on the back roads and can’t figure out how to get back to a main road to get home. He has been very patient and trusting of me with the brand new car.

I still prefer to be the passenger but I have to admit it is really nice to be able to drive again.

This Time Last Year

Last Thursday was my one year anniversary since arriving in England. In some ways it seems that the time has gone by really quickly because I can so clearly remember getting off the plane last year and moving into the new flat. How can that have been a year ago already?

This is an excerpt from my journal from the day before I left:

November 23rd, 12:15 am, last sleep

"Everything feels very surreal. I know that I need to go to sleep and that when I wake up it will be the day I've been counting down to for 13 weeks! I really wish that I wasn't on the verge of a cold/sinus infection. Not ideal for traveling or for seeing Matt. I really can't believe that I get to see him in about 28 hours.

Everyone came over for supper. It was loud and chaotic and exactly my family. I didn't get really emotional. I expect that to kick in at the airport with saying goodbye to dad, shelley and christine. I know I'm very tired so I hope that I can sleep without waking up every 2-3 hours like last night"

Things I have learned in the last year:

- it's hard to hide your crazy tendencies when you live with your boyfriend. I'm used to living either at home, in a dorm room or with girls where I can walk around all the day in my pyjamas, have at home spa night with face masks, eat the occasional gross junk food that I would never admit to eating and other behaviours that in the beginning of a relationship you try to hide from the other person. We've both adjusted and have at least reached the point where burps and farts are mostly funny. Very romantic

- It doesn't matter where in the world I live, my family and my close friends will always be a huge part of my life. Thanks to facebook, skype and lots of phone calls, I speak to at least one member of my family or friend every day. I see pictures of the family events that I can't attend and it makes me feel like I am still a part of things. My family supported me in moving here and have been there every step of the last year.

- Sometimes, I kind of think I'm invincible. I'm normally very humble and don't always take credit for my accomplishments. But this time I'm taking full credit. I moved to another country to pursue my relationship with Matt and within 6 months I was working at a job in my field while there is a major recession. I never settled and always believed that I would find a job that was right for me.

- I can now drive on the other side of the road and navigate around roundabouts. It took a long time, a lot of tears and the purchase of an automatic but I can drive! Now as soon as this snow clears I'll be back on the road.

- Matt is an incredibly patient and caring person when he's not being a grumpy old man. I'm not always sure how he puts up with me but I did once phrase it as "dating me is like being on the crazy train, you're either all aboard or waiting at the station" Clearly he's all aboard! He's been an amazing partner and despite a few rough patches, I know I made the right decision in moving.

- Being friendly goes a long way in any country. I never fully appreciated the stereotype of the polite Canadian until I moved away and people told me that I said please and thank you a lot. Manners cost nothing and have made a big difference in getting along with everyone at my revolving door of workplaces the first 6 months here.

- Bringing baked goods to work also goes a long way

Parallel Lives

I've been back from Calgary for two days and despite sleeping for almost 24 hours upon my return, I still feel like I could hibernate for a week. I tried to prepare myself for feeling sad when I came back to England. I knew it would come because that's how I felt when I came back in June. This feeling of everything is not quite in sync and it takes awhile to get settled back into my life here.

Having parallel lives is the best way that I can describe the feeling of living in England while my family and many friends still live in Canada. I have felt it both times that I have gone back and I have felt it when Canadian friends and family come to England to visit.

When I went back to Calgary I saw people who I hadn't seen since I had left a year ago. I felt different and had been living this completely different life but everything and everyone was still the same. It was a strange feeling because I became completely absorbed in my week in Calgary and it was as if my other, England life has never even happened or didn't seem to exist. Then the minute I'm back at work on Monday, my Canadian life fades away and it's as though I've always lived here, I've always worked at that office.

Each life seems to carry on without the other one and when I step back into my Calgary, Vancouver or Woking life the others fade into the background. It rips me apart in many ways because I want to live my England life but with my Canadian family. When I'm here and away from them, I almost forget that I miss everyone or how nice it is to be home for kid's birthday parties and family dinners. It makes me wonder will I always feel this push/pull inside me no matter where I live?

I hope this doesn't sound too depressing. The first days back are tough and the intensely busy work schedule and jet lag don't really help.

Turkey Time

I can't believe that I've already been back for almost a week! It almost feels like I never even went. Antalya was not quite the city that I had expected. The last sun holiday that Matt and I had been on was to Santorini in Greece. The place where we stayed was a few steps to the beach and the whole boardwalk outside our hotel was shops and restaurants. I guess I expected the place in Turkey to be a bit more like that. More like a resort somehow.

The flight landed in Turkey at around 11:00 p.m. After being ripped off at customs (if you're from England you pay 10 pounds to enter the country, but if you're from Canada and live in England you pay 30 pounds!), we got our luggage and boarded the bus to the hotel. I never like arriving at night because you don't really get a sense of the place or what anything looks like. The restaurant was shut so I had a lovely dinner of peanuts and pretzels at the sports bar while Matt feasted on beer.

The hotel was extremely nice. We booked at a travel agency and so got a really good deal. I probably never would have stayed at a Sheraton hotel otherwise. The room was booked in my name so when we checked in we were greeted as Mr. and Mrs. Goldstein. This also happened when we in Paris. Despite my highest hopes, it seems unlikely that Matt will ever take my name and become Mr. Goldstein. A girl can dream.

Breakfast buffets are usually my downfall but this buffet was aimed at people who enjoy cheese and meat for breakfast which I do not. There was such a strange mix of food. Who likes lentil soup at 9:00 am?For the past 6 months I haven't been eating wheat or dairy. On this trip, due to very limited options, I was basically on a bread and cheese diet. Some days were delicious but others were frustrating. I would say the lack of Sarah friendly food was really my only complaint of the trip.

This was meant to be a purely relaxing trip. This meant not feeling guilty for not signing up to tours every day and not feeling the need to explore every single thing. I have a tough time relaxing. I excel at napping but sitting still and doing nothing are a struggle. I stayed by the pool most days but did manage to read 3 1/2 books. That is my idea of a holiday! Nothing to do but decide when to eat and what to read.

The beach turned out to be mostly rocks so the pool was the better option. I would say the funniest poolside experience involved an older, very tanned German man by the pool. It's not as if I (or Matt) was checking out his package on purpose but it was impossible NOT to look. This man was wearing very tight swim trunks and he walked around the pool with quite a swagger. This man appeared on day one of the trip which meant that the rest of the week featured large 'package' jokes ;)

Turkey is well known for having textile factories. The cab drivers always felt the need to point this out and try to take us to the textile (or sometimes leather) factories or outlet stores. The cab drivers were nice but one essentially kidnapped us and took us to the waterfalls on the outskirts of the city. First he was telling us about the waterfall and we said we would go another day and then Matt said ok to something and then we were on our way to the waterfall. It turned out really well since the driver took us on a tour around the waterfall and was our personal photographer even telling people to move so that we could get a clear shot of the waterfall in the background.

There were two cultural activities that Matt and I did engage in. The first was a Turkish bath. You wear your bathing suit and first go into a sauna and then a steam room. I passed on the steam room because I get light headed really easily. After the sauna, you are taken into another steamy room and laid out on a stone slab. A woman comes over and scrubs you up and down, front and back. This is not your typical spa scrub, I had bruises from my scrub down! After the scrub, water is dumped on you and then there is a bubble massage before a shower. After this was an oil massage and face mask. Matt and I were separated for the first half and had the massage and face mask together. It was an interesting experience!

The second was a half day trip to the ancient cities of Perge and Aspendos. I find ancient ruins to be really cool and I like imagining what life must have been like hundreds of years ago. I also wonder what people from the future will think when they see ruins from our civilizations. Ever the cynic, Matt pointed out that buildings today are put together so badly that there won't be anything left for people from the future to see!

I'm glad that I went but I don't think that I will go back to Antalya. I would still really like to go to Istanbul though. It was a great trip and nice to have time with just Matt. I'm still surprised and delighted by the fact that we can spend 24/7 together and not kill each other.

Living it Up

When I decided to move to England, people kept asking me what my long term plans were. Both for myself and for Matt and I. I told everyone that I was on the wait and see plan. It was hard to know how everything was going to work and both Matt and I tried to be realistic by sticking to the two year visa timeline.

As time has gone by, and I've almost been here for a year already, we've had quite a few more discussions about future plans. Sometimes I begrudge being an international couple because instead of having to decide what neighbourhood we might live in, we have to think about what country we might want to live in. Matt pointed out that the most rational decision would be to live a few years in each country and then decide which one worked best. I would say that my initial bias was, obviously, to live in Canada. When I told my dad about these discussions that we'd been having, he told me that we could be citizens of the world. I really like the sound of that.

As I am a planner by nature, I have now created a hypothetical ideal timeline for the next few years. Matt's sister is getting married in May of 2012 and it doesn't really make sense to make a move to another country before her wedding. Working on that basis, the move back to Canada has tentatively been penciled in for the summer of 2012. Its much nicer to move during the summer months anyways. This plan leaves plenty of time for Matt to finish his qualifications at work and to apply for a transfer and for me to put in more time with Youth Justice Services and get more work experience.

The other week I heard a comedian say that he hates when people say that travel is their 'thing'. Mostly because everyone likes to travel and so you can not claim it as your own. Your 'thing' needs to be more quirky and possibly outrageous. Travel might not be our 'thing' but it is certainly an interest that Matt and I share and are hoping to make the most of while we live in Europe. To that end, a travel wish list has been created so that cities and countries can be checked off.

The list includes (but is not limited to): Turkey (which will be checked off in a few days), Prague, Italy, Budapest, Copenhagen, Sweden or Norway to watch the Northern Lights, Stockholm, Egypt. Florida and New York are also on the list but are not European countries. I'm hoping that we can make a few weekends trips to check out some amazing cities. I want to be able to look back on my time living in England and know that I truly made the most of it.

I have also been trying to get involved in more activities locally. London has SO much to offer that it can be overwhelming. I'm working my way through most of the musicals in the West End. To date I have seen: Dirty Dancing, Grease, Lion King, We Will Rock You, Wicked, Sister Act, Avenue Q. I had already seen Hairspray, Cats and Les Miserables in Canada. When my mom comes to visit we'll be going to see Billy Elliot.

I've also been trying to find out more about comedians, concerts and festivals. That is why in the past week or so I've seen Russell Peters (comedian), attended the Vegan Festival and saw the band MGMT.

When I was at MGMT on Friday night and Matt and I were rocking out I just stopped and thought, 'my life is pretty fantastic right now and I'm genuinely happy'. This was a really big deal since I am usually so full of anxiety that I can't always enjoy what I am doing.

Since I have started working for the Youth Justice Service I can honestly say that I am exponentially happier living in England. I have a job where I am appreciated and I want to be there. I really like all the people working in my office and for the most part look forward to going to work in the morning. It helps that my commute is an 8 minute walk.

Matt and I are heading to Turkey on Tuesday. I'm so looking forward to having a full week to relax and re-connectwith each other. Every day has been so rainy here and I can't wait for 27 degree sunshine for 7 days!