My Poor Neglected Blog

so it would appear that almost a whole month has gone by without a post...Eek. Where did the last month go? I think I was in denial for most of August about summer coming to an end. So to catch you up I'm going to write a few mini blogs.

1. The Noisy Neighbours

After what seemed like forever of feeling ignored and becoming resigned to living with horrible, inconsiderate neighbours, a police intervention happened. My incessant phone calls and complaints to the environmental health officer and the community policing team finally paid off. The environmental health officer called me and took my report and then sent me a noise diary to help build my case. The noise diary would have been more helpful when I lodged the first complaint but I suppose better late than never. Almost right away I got a phone call from the police and they asked if they could come by my apartment. Their timing was perfect since the upstairs neighbours had been playing loud bass music all afternoon.

I explained my concerns to the police when they arrived and they assured me that I had done the right thing by phoning. I shouldn't have to feel like I can't even relax in my own home. I told them I was mostly worried about the baby that seemed to cry all day and night. After they left my place, they went upstairs to speak to my noisy neighbour. I could hear them knocking on the door and because the music was so loud, she didn't answer the door right away. Perfect!

About 30 minutes later, I got a call from the officers to tell me how it went. The lady upstairs continued to deny to the police that she had any parties and she said that her daughter had not been home for a month! I didn't think that they were accusing me of making a false report or anything but it was not exactly the verdict I had hoped for. They said they would file their report with social services and to let them know if anything else happened.

The police visit worked and its been very quiet up there the past month. Finally peace and quiet...Except that the downstairs neighbours have decided to fill the noise void with a screaming baby and parties of their own.

2. The One Trip I Did Not Want to Take with Matt

During the first few weeks of living together, I had a really bad migraine. I told Matt that sooner or later while we were together, he would end up taking me to the emergency room. This was based on the fact that since the age of 16 and my first migraine, I have spent WAY too much time in the hospital. At first, it was because I didn't know how to manage to my migraines at all and so they would get so bad that I would be blind in one eye and vomiting and the only choice was an I.V. in the ER. I've also ended up in the hospital for a variety of other strange accidents and illnesses. For me it's a good year if I haven't had to go to the ER.

The streak was broken a few weeks ago during a rapid onset case of the stomach flu. I was fine Wednesday night but I woke up Thursday morning feeling so nauseous. I thought I would eat some breakfast and it would pass. It did not. I threw up breakfast. But like the crazy person I am, I still went to work. I put in a few hours, fell asleep on my desk and decided it was time to go home. I got home and fell asleep for about four hours. I woke up still feeling crappy and thought a bowl of plain rice would be safe. This was a mistake. By the time Matt got home a few hours later, I was curled up in a ball and then starting throwing up chunks of blood. At this point we called his mom and she said we should go to the hospital.

I knew that it was mostly likely that the blood was from being so violently sick all day but I guess I didn't want to chance it. And so we went to the A& E (Accidents and Emergencies - the British name for the ER). I told Matt he could just drop me off since I didn't want him to have to suffer the next few hours in the hospital waiting room with me. He said I was being ridiculous and he stayed with me. After numerous pokes, prods and x-rays, my initial diagnosis was correct. They gave me an anti-nauseau injection (it hurt to sit down for the day or so) and sent us home.

I love travelling with Matt but I don't fancy any more trips to the hospital.

3. Mandy comes to town

I refer to Mandy as my girlfriend. I also refer to her as my non-sexual lesbian life partner. This confused some people since both Mandy and I were single for a long time and only hang out with each other...and then I went home with her for Christmas. The non-sexual part was dropped and people began to believe that we really were a couple. I was with Mandy when I met Matt. She occasionally bemoans the fact that because of her so many of her friends have met and hooked up. I'm hoping that she's not still annoyed about this since thanks to her intervention I have a really great boyfriend and I live in England!

So understandably, I was very excited when Mandy was coming for a visit! Being uber-organized meant that she had done loads of research about how to best spend her two weeks in the U.K. She had looked up some very cool places to visit in London that I had never been to including: spidelfields market, hampstead heath, golders green and saw Sister Act. It was so great to have her here because it felt like no time had passed. I realized how much I miss having my girlfriends in my life just to chat and go to lunch and explore markets with. Mandy was travelling with her friend Eleanor who I had heard about but hadn't met. Mandy has so many friends in so many cities and countries! I really like that since I've moved here, quite a few friends and family have made their way over and can stay with me.

On Mandy and Eleanor's last night in England, I hosted a dinner party for Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). Last year at Christmas time, so many people asked me if I was homesick and I wasn't really because Christmas is not a holiday that I celebrate with my family. Rosh Hashanah is a big holiday with my family and I decided that to help deal with being so far away from everyone, I should host a big dinner and make traditional foods. This was quite a feat as I have never made the whole dinner by myself. After two days of cooking and sending Matt to North London to pick up the special round challahs (braided bread), I hosted 7 people for a delicious dinner. I LOVED having everyone over and being able to celebrate with all of my friends. Although most of the attendants were not Jewish, it didn't matter. I liked being able to create new holiday memories living here and living with Matt (who is not Jewish but mostly open-minded).

4. Substance Misuse Prevention Worker

This is my new job title! Not very much has happened yet and I'm still doing my old role. I've been training another woman at work to take over for me but since giving her most of my work load I haven't had much to do at work. This slow time certainly makes up for the craziness of the summer. My new manager and I have only met once and then she took a leave from work because her father had passed away. I haven't been able to wish her my condolences yet because she's been out of the office. I have a meeting tomorrow with her where I should find out what the new role will entail. From what I do know, I will be working directly with young people before they become involved in the criminal justice system. I will be focusing on substance misuse, health and prevention. When I know more, I'll write about it. I'm very excited about this new opportunity and continue to be awed and amazed at my good fortune at getting a job in my field within walking distance from my house!

Ramble On

I usually like my blogs to fit into some kind of theme or event. In fact, I’ve had blogger’s block the past few days trying to decide what to write about. This blog is going to be a bit of ramble as I discuss some of the recent events and thoughts happening lately.

Update on the last blog – Flat 53 vs. Flat 58. I spoke with a woman at work who told me that the police have a neighborhood support worker so I called her. I got a call back and explained the situation and they informed me that while they would make a note of my complaint, I needed to be dealing with the environmental health office. The issue is noise pollution so that’s why it’s an environmental health issue. I got a phone call from them and they apologized for the mismanagement of my previous complaint.

What should have happened when I phoned was that a letter was supposed to go the people upstairs informing them that a complaint had been made about the noise. It would have been anonymous except that since I’ve been up there twice I’m pretty sure they will know its me. I was also supposed to receive a letter with a noise diary to log further disturbances (like the one I’m listening to right now of loud techno music!) I’m still waiting for the noise diary to arrive but at least I’m starting to build a case against them. I feel like such a vigilante about this issue but I can’t let it go. Hopefully the next update will be more positive…like they got evicted!

Work has been very busy the past few weeks. Since I am the newest member of staff and basically at the bottom of the totem pole, I’ve been volunteering for any and every piece of work that I can. There are major budget cuts happening and my goal has been to show them how valuable and versatile I am so that they will want to keep me around.

While I prefer being busier at work, it got a little bit out of control. In addition to my regular duties, I was covering for two other people who were on holidays and on sick leave. Every time the phone rang it was transferred to my desk and every time a youth justice officer had a question they came over to my desk. It has calmed down significantly since the woman on sick leave has returned. My hard work has paid off since I’ve been offered a contract on my extension until March 2011! I don’t want to say too much about it yet since I’ve only had one meeting with the head of service and haven’t been offered anything in writing yet. It’s still excellent news.

**Caution to my dad who is reading this – the next paragraphs are about birth control***I’ve been on the pill since I was about 16. Since moving to the UK I’ve had to get a new doctor and get my prescriptions transferred over. The doctor informed me that the pill I had been taking put me at an increased risk of blood clots because I also get migraines. This was news to me! You think that in the 10 years that I had been taking the pill, one of my Canadian doctors would have mentioned this possible side effect or risk. The doctor tells me that I can no longer take that pill and can take a different one, the mini-pill with only progesterone and no estrogen.

I agreed but inside I was panicking. A large part of the reason I originally took the pill was to help with my bad skin. My skin has never been great. It goes through clear phases only to be followed out by extended break out periods. I knew that going off the pill that is supposed to help with your skin was going to be a nightmare but the risk of a blood clot in my brain was also not an appealing option. Having bad skin makes me SOOO self –conscious. It makes me feel like everyone is staring at my face and my spots and thinking ‘wow, she has such bad skin’. There’s a small chance that no one is thinking that. When my skin is bad, I feel like staying home with a bag over my face. The worst part is that at home I take off my make-up and Matt sees everything! Another joy of living together, I can’t hide anything.

While the effect was not immediate, I’ve begun to notice and now have full-fledged acne again. It sucks. I have nothing positive to say about it. I have an appointment with the doctor next Monday so hopefully they’ll be able to help me out.

Matt and I have booked our holiday and we’re headed to Antalya, Turkey. We got an amazing deal and are staying at a 5 star resort. I’m really excited! People in the U.K. go to Egypt and Turkey the same way people in Canada go to Mexico. There are loads of all-inclusive deals that go there. They still seem like very exotic destinations to me. I’m looking forward to having a break and getting to be on holiday with Matt.

That’s about all for now. I feel like this wasn’t the most exciting of posts. Oh well, hope you liked reading it anyways.

Flat 53 vs. Flat 58

I am normally a very calm and collected individual. I like to think that I am slow to anger and usually feel that most things aren’t really worth getting angry about in the first place. I am also usually the defender of stranger who act inappropriately and try to simply ignore them and move on with my day. All people have a breaking point and there is only so much a person can take.

Of all the traits that annoy me the most, inconsiderate and disrespectful people are at the top of the list. My neighbors fit the bill for the most inconsiderate and disrespectful people that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting.

When we first moved into this flat, the paper-thin walls became apparent as we heard the loud and incessant wailing of the baby living upstairs. I have been around crying babies and this was something else. I wondered if the baby was hurt or sick or being neglected. I even reported my suspicions to the community police officer team. I later found out that you need to report something 3 times to social services before they will come out. I haven’t decided if I want to keep reporting them.

In addition to the crying baby, there are the loud, all night parties that happen almost every Friday. You have to give some allowance to people having parties on the weekends but when they are shouting and blaring their music until 4 in the morning is just not okay. I called the police during one of these parties but was told that because we live in a private (gated) apartment complex, they were not allowed to enter the premises unless they believed someone was being hurt. My inability to lie was my downfall here, as I couldn’t in good conscience lie to the police.

The next morning after zero sleep, Matt and I decided to go up there and confront the noisy neighbors about their ridiculous parties. I decided that in the interest of diplomacy, I should do most of the talking. Matt is more of the speak first and think later type of person.

I knocked on the door (feeling very nervous) and the woman who lives upstairs answered the door. I asked her about the party they had the night before and the loud music they were playing .She denied all knowledge of a party and claimed she was home by 12:30 which we knew was a lie because we heard them come in later. She then said we don’t play loud music because we have a baby. At this point, Matt couldn’t hold back anymore and said “We know you have a baby, we hear it screaming all the time”.

This encounter just made me so much angrier. All she had to do was apologize and say that they didn’t know how loud they had been. Instead, she denied that they were making any noise or that they had had a party. Not impressed! I had planned to write a letter detailing my complaints along with the sections of the lease that the people upstairs were violating. I do not have any faith in the building management company and have not gotten around to writing the letter hoping that the situation would resolve itself.

On Friday night, I had an out of body anger experience. It was Matt’s birthday and he had spent the day at the Beer Festival. We then met up for dinner with another couple (our good friend Simon and Clare) at Santa Maria del Sur, which we had seen on the F-Word with Gordon Ramsay. Matt and I got home relatively early for a Friday night and he was passed out by 10:30. I went to bad around 11:15. I had the windows open (as we do almost every night) because it’s stiflingly hot in our flat and we need the air.

The upstairs neighbors were having a party. It wasn’t so much the music that was the problem this time but rather the fact that they were yelling at each other at the top of their voices out the window. Since it wasn’t that late yet, I tried to go to sleep. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I almost did, I was woken back up by their super loud voices.

By about 12:15, I was so tired and so angry that I was ready to burst. I decided that I had had enough and got dressed and went upstairs. I banged on their door and once again the woman answered. I said to her ‘look, you are yelling out of your windows and being way too loud.’ She stared blankly at me and said ‘yes because the windows are open’. I said ‘we were trying to sleep and maybe they could just not yell out the windows?’ She didn’t say much but basically said come on like I was over reacting. At this point, I snapped. At yelled (actually yelled at her) you’re not the only people who live in this building and you need to more considerate of your neighbors!!!! I then stormed off and came back downstairs.

My heart was racing and my adrenaline was pumping. I couldn’t believe that I had actually confronted her like that. They then closed the window and continue their party. I was asleep for maybe an hour or so before Matt woke up from his beer induced coma with a really bad headache and required my medical attention. Another night with very little sleep.

I find it so hard to believe that people can be so inconsiderate! Fair enough, its your apartment and you can do what you want but that has to be within reason.

The above only describes our upstairs neighbors. The downstairs neighbors also have a baby and like to get into screaming matches with each other and slam doors. At least they don’t have their massive fights when we’re trying to sleep!

Smooth Sailing

I sometimes use my blog to vent and complain. Luckily this skill has helped me fit in in England since complaining (or moaning) is a national pastime. However, my life is going extremely well at the moment and thought that it might be worth reflecting on some of the very positive events that have been happening lately.

Work: I have been very busy at work the past few weeks. I was getting too efficient at doing just my job and now I am helping to cover for two other people’s job while they are on holiday and sick leave! I’m still at the bottom at the totem pole and need to work really hard to prove myself. I think its working and I’m being given more freedom and responsibility. I’m also in charge of projects that will be shown when special guests come for tours of our department. I really like the people on my team and I like my days off but I look forward to going to work now. I’ve been given permission to work another day per week – so now I’m on four days per week while I’m helping cover for other people. I also got another job, as a youth worker at a local youth centre in the evenings but that won’t start until September. It’s a little bit uncertain working in the government and major cuts are happening. I’m really hoping that I will still have a place there in September once some cuts have been made and people are re-shuffled.

Travel: I am trying to make the most of living in Europe and being so close to so many countries. I went to Amsterdam with my friend Adrienne who lives is Canadian but lives in Germany and is moving back to Canada at the end of August. We realized that we have actually travelled to quite a few places together: Germany, Vienna, Arizona, England and now Amsterdam. The trip was very fun. I love all of the history in European cities. I won’t go into too much detail but we did venture to Red Light District and checked out a few coffee shops.

Matt and I also have a lot of travel plans for the next year. The first weekend in September, we are planning to go to either Devon or Cornwall on the coast in England. There’s a plan for a sun holiday in early October to either Turkey or Spain. Next year for my birthday we’re looking at going to Italy. So much to look forward to!

Visitors: I am very excited about the visitors that are planning to come and see me. First up is Mandy (my non-sexual lesbian life partner). She’s going to be here at the end of August and it will have been almost a whole year since we’ve seen each other. We used to live a few blocks away from each other in Vancouver, which meant that we saw each other all the time. Then she went and moved to Kelowna and I went and moved to England.

My mom is planning to come in the middle of October for 10 days. I can’t wait to show her my life here and introduce her to Matt’s family. Hopefully she’s planning to travel without her puppets or other practical jokes…

Matt and me: we survived our first real fight and in a way I’m actually really glad. Fighting and not speaking for a day was not fun at all but it brought to the light some real issues that needed to be dealt with. Neither of us has lived with a partner before and so we are muddling through together trying to sort out grown-up relationship stuff like budgets and chores. I trust in myself and in him and the knowledge that we want the same things. This is my first grown-up relationship where a fight doesn’t equal a break-up and you can feel anger and love just as intensely and sometimes at the same time. It’s wonderful, confusing, frustrating and exciting but I’m happy and in love with him.

Health: Awhile back I mentioned that I had given up wheat, dairy and sugar and had lost a bit of weight. I became frustrated when I was eating so well and the weight wouldn’t budge so I decided to see a nutritionist for some advice and support. She’s works at a holistic health centre and has made some very helpful suggestions that seem to have made a big difference. I’ve also become (except for eggs) basically a vegan. The focus tens to be on what you can’t eat instead of what you can. I’ve been creative and read recipes online all the time. My body seems to have responded really well and I’ve been feeling really good. I’ve been trying my best to be realistic and in my gym attendance and now that we have a Nintendo Wii – I can work out at home. That’s not a cop-out the Wii fit is actually really tough!

I’m finally starting to feel settled here. I still miss my old life in Canada but I’m enjoying my new life in England more each day.

Matt Meets the Fam

Due to the slightly unusual circumstances of my first few weeks of dating Matt (which at the time I wasn't even sure if we were dating...), he didn't meet the majority of my family. We only knew each other for a few weeks before he went back to England. We met in Vancouver and more than half of my family lives in Calgary.

When I took Matt to meet my mom (after him and I had only hung out about a handful of times), I warned him that no matter what I said to him it would not adequately prepare him for what may or may not happen over the course of the next few hours. It was my birthday and I wanted to see my mom and since Matt was spending the day with me, he was coming to meet her too. My warning proved all too accurate when she told us that she had been practicing her ventriloquist skills and would we like to see her dummies?? It should be explained that when my mom finished her PhD she decided to go in a slightly different direction for a break and took up ventriloquism. Its always been weird and creepy. My mom and I visited (pre-dummies) while Matt watched tv. When we left, I asked him what he thought and he responded 'well, at least she's madder than you!' Really that was the best that I could have hoped for.

Matt also met my younger sister during those first few weeks. We lived together at the time but his assessment of her was that he had only seen her briefly and she was usually getting ready to go out. She came to stay with us for a few days in March of this year. They got a little bit more time to get to know each other although I had to translate most of what he was saying. He keeps claiming that he doesn't have an accent!

As our trip to Canada got closer, I embarked on a project of preparing Matt to meet the rest of my family. First we were going to Vancouver and he would be staying with my mom and her husband Jeff. We would be hanging out with My Vancouver family including my aunt, my uncle, cousins and grandma. My Vancouver family can get a bit silly and has been known to tell dirty jokes. I also repeatedly told Matt that my dad was the glue of the family. Each of his 4 kids talk to him minimum once a day through e-mail, skype or text. I was slightly nervous for him since he had to meet SO many people all at once. While Matt, ever the calm and collected one didn't seem phased by it at all.

I also told him what comments might be offensive, that he couldn't be rude and that most importantly he should be himself.

First up was my Vancouver family. My mom and uncle kept asking Matt to repeat and say things because they liked how it sounded with his accent. Then they were repeating it in their version of his accent. Although Matt re-assures me that the evening was fine and not embarrassing, I wasn't so sure. I'm used to my family and all of our eccentricities. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of anyone but I just wasn't sure how we would appear to Matt who comes from the most normal family that I've ever met.

My mom really liked/likes Matt. She told me how nice he seems and that its obvious to her how much he cares about me. She always asks about him when we chat.

I loved being in Vancouver with Matt. Going to my favourite restaurants, having breakfast with my mom, visiting the beach and being with my friends. And driving!! It was so nice to be able to drive and know where I was going. Since living in England, our lives have basically revolved around Matt's life, his friends and his family. I don't say this with any resentment but matter-of-factly. I moved here not knowing many people and I've had 8 months to build a live here while Matt has had 28 (almost 29) years of having a life here. Being together in Canada meant that we got to do basically everything that I wanted to do. Clearly the way that it should be!

In Calgary, Matt was about to be bombarded with Goldsteins, McAllisters and Hansons. First up was my dad and his now wife Shelley. We had driven from Nelson to Calgary and had stopped for dinner in Banff. I was so excited to see my dad and to be back in my old house. There have been a few renovations and a few new tenants but it will always be my home because I grew up and spent 22 years of my life there. We spent some time chatting and visiting. My dad had no trouble with his accent.

We were up early the next day. Keep in mind at that time, England was still in the World Cup and with the time difference kick off was at 8:00 am. That afternoon, some of Shelley's kids and their boyfriends/girlfriends arrived and we had a small family dinner. Small being a relative term since there were 9 of us there and many siblings were missing. We finished dinner and moved over to Christine's house - my best friend, former room mate and non-sexual life partner.

Christine has been my best friend since we were 18. She's the kind of friend where it doesn't matter how much time has passed we can pick up and be right where we left off. I got to see here new house and she got to meet my Matt. I'm so proud of her for being so grown-up and buying her own house with her friend Kelsey. Although we only had two short days to spend time together, I loved every minute! I also spent time with her and her boyfriend. Christine and I haven't both had boyfriends at the same time since we were 18. While I don't need really need anyone's stamp of approval for my relationships, it was still nice to get some positive feedback from a person who knows me so well.

After leaving Christine's house, we went back to my dad's house to meet my older sister and my youngest niece, Baby Violet. The plan was to pick up lunch and meet up with my nephew Kade for his end of school picnic. We brought him a meatball sub. Before we left the house, Matt got some insight into how much work babies are when we had to put the car seat and the stroller in the car!

Kade's picnic was hilarious. He's such a popular 7 year old and needed to say hello and visit every other kids picnics. He ran around and played football - it is a spanish school after all. Next stop was the zoo. We took the train to avoid traffic and parking issues. Taking two small children to the zoo is quite a workout! Pushing the stroller and pulling Kade in a wagon. Kade is too smart for his auntie and felt the need to correct me when I pointed out a turtle (he let me know it was actually a tortoise). Matt was a pretty good sport about being a two child family for the afternoon. He's still a little bit unsure of how to hold a squirming baby.

That night was the start of the wedding weekend festivities. Matt was about to meet everyone else: my older sister's husband and my other niece and nephew, my brother and his wife and their son and Shelley's sister and husband. I warned Matt that when my family gets together there is usually enough food for everyone to eat thirds and there will still be leftovers. I told him to wear his eating clothes. Kade was the star of the BBQ giving tours of the barn and the garden. I seriously love that kid.

On Saturday, I spent the morning with my sister Carie and we went to a fundraiser workout class. it was my first experience at Zumba. It was sweaty but really fun. Matt ended up playing golf with my brother. I wasn't sure how they would get along but they ended up having a really good day together.

That night was dinner for all of the out of town guests. Read: more family for Matt to meet. All of the siblings were in attendance. There are four kids in my family and Shelley has four kids. that's not including spouses or girlfriends and boyfriends. The dinner that night was lovely. Great food, seeing my relatives and just hanging out with everyone.

Sunday was the wedding. Before everything got underway, I was feeling a little bit strange. maybe a little overwhelmed. I was looking forward to the wedding because I really do like Shelley and loved the idea of the wedding taking place in the backyard. My dad had asked me a few days prior if I would walk him down the aisle with my younger sister Kylie. I burst out crying when he asked me. I was honoured and of course said yes.

The weather was perfect for the day. We had a series of family photos with the professional photographer and I knew that this was not going to be fun for Matt. He was allowed in one of the pictures though when we did a big group shot. Hopefully I won't have to scratch his face out of the picture at a later date...(Kidding - only kidding!)

In addition to meeting all my family, Matt now got to meet friends of the family. Everyone wanted to know what he did and what our life was like together in England. A few people even told me how handsome they thought he was. Always nice to hear. When we were leaving to head back to my sister's house later in the day, one of my dad's friend told Matt that 'he better take care of their girl'. Again, really nice to hear.

I was not looking forward to the airport goodbye with my dad. I had already had the emotional airport good bye with my dad 8 months earlier when I moved. I thought that I was holding it together until we actually hugged at the gate and he started telling me that he though Matt was a good guy and we seemed very happy together. My dad has never liked anyone that I have dated so this was a huge deal having him tell me that he liked Matt. At this point I was on the verge of sobbing and it really was time to go through the gate. At least Matt was there to hold my hand.

He survived meeting my loud, funny, obsessed with food and all around amazing family. I moved to another country to live with a man who my family had either never or barely met. I hope now, after meeting him, they can see why I made that choice.

Watching Your Parents Re-Marry

My parents separated at the same time that I moved to Vancouver and began my Master's degree. At that time, all I could think about was how much better and easier everything would be if they got back together. It was almost impossible for me to imagine a happy life for both of my parents that did not involved being married to each other and us being a family.

A very wise friend of mine gave me some powerful advice that has only truly become meaningful over the past few months. She told me that the day would come when I would be fine with my parent's divorce. I would also be fine with them dating and possibly marrying other people. I might even learn to like and love their new spouses. I was adamant that she was wrong. I thanked her for her well meaning advice and dismissed it thinking it may have been applicable to her other friends but not to me, not my family.

I watched both my parents go through extremely sad and lonely phases once they were apart. I don't think I (or my siblings) have ever felt as helpless as watching our parents suffer and feeling like there was nothing that we could do to fix it. I had to accept that it was not my problem to fix and that my parents were adults and capable of taking care of themselves. They began to heal in different ways and began to date new people.

The news of first dates from either parent was met with extreme awkwardness. I wanted to be supportive but I still hadn't completely worked out how I felt about them being apart and now they were moving on to date new people. A part of me wanted to know the details but the other part of me wanted to block the whole thing out. I know that both my mom and dad wanted their children to be comfortable with them dating and moving on into new relationships. They both emphasized how important their relationship was with their children and that it came first before any potential new partner.

I will admit that I did not behave in the most mature of fashions when my mom had a new boyfriend. When he was going to be at her house, I would make sure that I wasn't. If I knew she had plans with him, I would plans with her for another day. It wasn't anything personally against him, I wasn't ready to handle the situation yet. As time went on, I got to know him, even working at his office a few times when I was in between jobs. When my mom told me that they were planning to get married, I was still hesitant. I asked her if this is what she really wanted. She said it was. I decided that the best and grow-up daughter decision was to be supportive to my mom.

My mom got re-married in May 2009. Her wedding was on a Sunday. The Friday before the wedding, my apartment was broken into and my lap top stolen. Then the Tuesday after the wedding, I was leaving to go travelling in Europe and Israel for four months. Her wedding day was a very emotional one for me. I was happy for her but in a way it felt strange because I thought, aren't I supposed to be getting married next? It was a small wedding and all of my siblings were there.

I found out about my dad's first date with his now wife through her daughter who I went to high school with. The Jewish community in Calgary is very small and it doesn't take long for word to get out. When I asked him about it he told me that he had planned to tell me about it. I suppose parents are entitled to some privacy in their dating lives. My dad continued to assure me throughout the beginning of their relationship that his children were still number one and that we would always have a place in his home. When he told me that she was moving in to our house and that they were getting married, I was genuinely thrilled. In part because it meant that my beloved childhood home wasn't going to be sold right away.

The first time that I met my dad's then girlfriend, it was obvious that they were a good fit. They both liked to organize things, have shabbat dinners and yell at the tv. It was great to see my dad so happy but a small part of me felt sad because he hadn't been that happy with my mom in a long time.

The trip to Canada was planned around my dad's wedding which was on the second last day before coming back to England. The wedding was a full weekend event with a BBQ, pre-wedding night dinner and the actual wedding taking place in our backyard. After being away from my family for 7 months, it felt so good just to hang out with my everyone and be with "my people". Again, the wedding day was emotional but it was obvious to everyone there just how happy the two of them were.

When my parents re-married new partners, I gained a few step-siblings. I now have 2 sisters, 1 brother, 1 sister-in-law, 1 brother-in-law, 4 step-sisters and 2 step-brothers plus 5 nieces and nephews! We're a big family and only getting bigger!

I think that I have now adjusted to the concept of my parents being married to people who aren't each other hasn't been a quick or pain-free journey to get to this place. I still remember how I felt when they told me they were splitting up and the difficult months that followed. But now it seems that both my parents have found happiness and I couldn't be happier for them.

New Job!!

In the 6 months that I've been here, I've started 4 new jobs. I'm really hoping that this new one sticks. My first day was last Tuesday, I was excited but didn't know what to expect. In a way, it's good that I've started so many jobs because I'm used to the first few days being disorganized and chaotic.

The team that I'm working with is called intensive supervision and surveillance program (ISSP). This is for young people who have either committed very serious offences or have already been given multiple chances. This program is the last option before being given a custodial sentence (prison). I'm also going to be responsible for organizing driver's to pick the young people up and take them to their program. This is the one aspect of the job that worries me a little bit only because I still don't really know the area that I live in that well. Google maps and I are going to become fast friends.

My first day was mostly reading through case files, learning a bit about the computer systems and attending some meetings. On my second day, I went to the Woking Magistrate's court for youth court. It was an extremely interesting day. I can't go into too much detail about the court cases. They were fairly minor offences for the most part but one young person was remanded to custody by the end of the court day. My third day, I had to travel to another office on the other side of the county. I can get into to London in half the time it takes me to to get to Leatherhead. At this office, I was introduced to more people and got to make a few of the timetables.

I feel like there are so many good opportunities and that I'm on the brink of a really great job in the field that I want to work in. Everyone has been so nice and encouraging. My goal now is to do a great job and show them that they were right to give me a chance and that as time goes on they will give me more responsibilities.